As the week comes to a close, so does my time at the Seattle International Comedy Competition. The experiences I've had and the memories I hold from this incredible event are unparalleled in my career as a comedian and I am honored to have been able to share the stage with so many talented performers. Unfortunately, I was not able to make it to the finals of the competition, but truly believe that I am walking away from this experience with something far greater than a $5000 check or recording contract for a comedy album; I'm walking away from this competition with empty hands.
That's right! There are no participation trophies. Suck it, Millenial America. Want to know what I get to show for my lack of victory? Absolutely nothing tangible. I hold a slew of experiences, some new friends, and somewhere in the ozone there are exhaust fumes from my 1998 Oldsmobile Aurora that have floated off like doves (poisonous doves that contribute to global warming.) More than anything, I'm inspired by this (the lack of trophy, not the willful destruction of the Earth).
As the competition's preliminary weeks ended, the comedians all huddled together - like bums around a campfire dreaming of better times - on a ferry from Whidbey Island back to Seattle. One of us claimed that he was "excited to not have to think about performing a set the following day, for once." I was shocked that so many of these performers nodded in agreement. To be fair, after 5 nights of performing, each show in a different city than the night before, I can understand the fatigue that is taken on a competitor. Heck, I definitely felt it - predominately in my calves after starting my sets with a standing backflip that whispered to an audience, all too obviously, "do you like me?" But the idea of taking a few days off seemed absurd to me.
I believe we get better the more we are able to do things. The same is absolutely true for comedy. Over the past weeks, I had learned and grown more as a comedian than my first 2 years of practicing Stand-Up. The ability to work, every night, with a different crowd in different venues was revolutionary for me and for what I have come to call my career. So, when my colleague mentioned that he was ready for a break, I was dumbfounded. I looked down at my hands and the obvious lack of trophy resting, or not resting, in my palms, and felt more inspired than ever to work.
I think it is important to also emphasize that this is the first time I found myself surrounded by comedians where I wholly felt that I "belonged." I've sadly considered myself a sort of renegade comedian, often writing myself off as an outcast (much of which is my own fault). However, in my history of comedy, fellow comedians and clubs haven't always been the warmest of environments for me. I'm theatrical, at heart, and try very hard to leave everything I have on a stage. Frequently this means, in one of my sets, that an audience is bound to see breakdancing, musical performance, and calisthenics wrapped inside of jokes. While I will attest that this truly is "who I am," I will also agree that it isn't quite in line with traditional stand-up comedy. Additionally, I've always been one who favors deep, thought-provoking conversation and I often find that some comedians don't necessarily know how to "turn off" their act. However, somehow it took a pasty-white kid from New Mexico to begin comedy in Chicago only to find himself, 2 years later, back in the middle of the desert performing jokes in front of Church congregations and his dogs, to be selected for an International competition where he could feel like he was validated in what he was doing. I mean, the dogs didn't even laugh, for goodness sake!
When we feel validated in who we are or what we do, I think we are more capable of pushing forward. It's hard to brave the open seas when there is no wind in your sail. It's amazing what community can do. I was inspired by my short stint in the Seattle International Comedy Competition to become a better comedian and performer, not with the hope of winning the competition one day, but because I was inspired by the community I had found myself wrapped within. I looked up to every one of the comedians, in some way, and it ignited a desire for me to make a conscious effort to grow more adamantly in who I am. However, at the end of the day, it falls on me to take that step forward. A community can't be the one to do this for you.
For the longest time (about 3 years, now), I've told myself that I wanted to start a blog. In no way did I hope to be a "blogger" or to gain recognition for the Creative Writing skills I picked up in college. Quite the opposite, actually. I have always felt that my ability to communicate with the page might be a way in which I would be able to communicate with myself. It's strange, sometimes we cling so tightly to the thoughts that swim within our heads that we mistake them as unoriginal or detached. I opine that our ability to address these thoughts, to express rather than repress, is a step forward in being able to grow into the people we are called to be. Perhaps filling the blank lines with ink, to watch thoughts appear on a screen in darkened pixels or illuminated phrases, makes personal biography a bit more tangible.
So, here it is. This is my official, first "blog post." I don't know how to start things, which can be troubling. However, I think that actually starting is far more important than figuring out how to do so. I guess the big secret that most artists have to learn is that there really is no correct way to begin; there is only your way.
As the end of the night and, subsequently, the 2017 SICC competition came to a close, the ferry from Whidbey Island docked silently and a group of comedians disembarked to the places where they would soon go. I watched them drive into the city, past trees, puddles, and the beaming lights across the shores of the Puget Sounds and told myself that now, more than ever, was the time to begin. I vowed that I would challenge myself to write new jokes every day. As a comedian, this isn't necessarily new territory. I've always tried to find new jokes throughout the day but, just like the thoughts that crawl around my head, I never took the time to really address them for the original ideas that they were. But I vowed, from now on, to do exactly that. My goal isn't just to write a new joke every day, I want to challenge myself to look at every angle of a topic and be able to write about it. Will some jokes be terrible? Of course. Will I write them anyway? You bet. I want to challenge myself to write at least 25 jokes every day all based on ONE specific idea, location or thing. They all can't be winners. But if I've learned anything so far, it's that our ability to do something and move forward is far more important than winning.